What Shits Me

Good evening my fellow shadows. I am incredibly drunk right now so please excuse my lack of vocabulary if it arises as I am too intoxicated to notice its presence.

Anyway...

Let me fill you in on the days events. I spent the majority of the days sunlit hours confined to an office, sniffling and sniveling, drowning myself in a sea of mucus and spit which I later passed on gracefully to a bunch of tissues. Pretty big waste of fucking time if you ask me. (Please excuse my swearing also; if you wish to see why I believe it appropriate to include it in everyday English, please scroll down to the end of my blog, or hastily leave because it only gets worse). So there I was in the office, wondering why I had bothered dragging my diseased arse out of bed, when my boss presented my with an interesting scenario; more paperwork. My mind was asphyxiated with three words, 'Thanks for trying'. Upon leaving work, I was informed that my colleagues were heading out for drinks and asked to tag along. 'Why not?' my alcohol-malnourished brain thought. I deserve this. I proceeded to the pub and ordered my favorite; a double shot of rum and coke. AUD$12.00, and a warm buzz later, I decided I better inform my fiance I would be a little late home from work, only to be hung up on. I then briskly decided it was time to head home. Upon arriving home, I was greeted with nothing less than every males greatest fear, the silent treatment. I had all intentions of spending the rest of this night with my dear loved one only to have her pass out on the couch. And now I sit in front of my laptop, crazed in a self-induced drunken stupor, whinging away my anguish to you. Perhaps time to put down the bottle? Not going to happen :)

Another thing that really pushes my buttons. In Australia, it is workplace law that if: you have two or more consecutive days off, or if you have either a Monday or Friday off work, you MUST provide a medical certificate to your employer. Whilst again, I do not disagree with this, it still pisses me off. Sure, I understand both concepts, but they're still annoying. Take for example, my particular situation. Last Saturday, the 16th of May, 2010, I felt myself developing what I described as, 'flu-like symptoms'. Sunday night came like the coming of Christmas, and I felt more like shit than a freshly squeezed cow pattie. I called in sick Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and was informed that I would need a certificate; please keep in mind, I could hardly get out of bed. I then had to drag myself to a doctor, for him to tell me that I had nothing but 'the common cold', to take Nurofen, and drink plenty of water. Thank you very much Captain Fucking Obvious. The whole experience of having to leave my place of comfort and get to a GP by train left me so debilitated, I was more fucked than when I left. This alone then forced me to ask the question, 'Why am I doing this?'. God forbid there are actually honestly, legitimate sick people out there that genuinely need to rest; nope, fuck them! Lets make them all have to drag their sorry little butts to the doctor. What a waste of time and energy.

Referral to my previous (Please excuse my swearing also; if you wish to see why I believe it appropriate to include it in everyday English, please scroll down to the end of my blog, or hastily leave because it only gets worse) comment...

WHY I DO NOT GIVE TWO FUCKING SHITS ABOUT SWEARING
Hahahaha, thought the title was funny did you? Well, I included these little profanities because:
Swearing has become such a custom of everyday English that they actually decided to include it in the dictionary; and, following the rules of games such as boggle and such-forth, 'if its in the dictionary, its a' fucking 'word'. Yes I did exclude the word fucking, because I do not believe that they would put that in the rule book. Also, yes I know many of you may say, "Well yes it is in the dictionary, but the definition listed does not fit the sentence in which you are using it in." Two words to you people, "Fuck off", its all about context!

That's all I've got for now.

Go hard or go home.

Ithler